A Realization

So I'm chilling on the couch with my laptop, right? And you know, for the past few months I've been working on finding colleges and whatnot for a Environmental Biology emphasis Major. I came across a little website of a friend's friend who is an artist. I was scrolling through her drawings and paintings and that's when I realized, if I don't do what I love, will my career be worth while? Sure, the money is good. And yeah, I'll probably still go for an Environmental Biology emphasis, but I'm going to minor in art. Art has been the only thing I found that could be a career, that I love. I love it so much. I'll watch Pixar movies and feel like I'm flying, just studying the animation. I went to the Tim Burton area of LACMA for my brother's birthday and felt my heart skip a beat looking at his free hand drawings and his mechanical sculptures. I want to major in art SO bad but it's a hard field to get into.....You know what? Maybe I don't care. I'm gonna tell the truth. No, I don't want to be a scientist. I love science but I HATE math. And there's too much math involved. Being a scientist would be HECKA boring. I LOVE ART, so that's what I'm gonna do. Follow my dream of working for Pixar.

THE END

"I Love You"

THIS IS A VERY BLUNT AND HONEST BLOG. READ THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Three simple words. Three simple little words. The letter "I", used as a pronoun referring to the person talking. The word "you", also a pronoun, showing the person being spoken to. Then there's one other word, squished in the middle with probably the heaviest word in any language. Yet we don't treat it with that respect, but we just throw it around with all the other words that spew out of our mouths constantly. This word is "love". Love. Have you ever stopped to think about what it is you're going to say, before you said it? Sure you have. I mean, if thinking is something you do often. So I'm going to pretend to be you right now.

"Yeah I think about what I say sometimes, like if it's something important. Totally" -You

Okay, I'm me again. Now you, the reader, before continuing to read this blog post, I need you to stop and read that quotation of you that I just did.

If you read it, good. If not, then please please please PLEASE, go back and read it. Don't be lazy.

Now that you re-read it, hopefully you know where I'm going with this. Love IS important. Saying "I love you" to someone, should be important enough to you that you have to think about it before hand. Now before you go and try correcting me, don't. I know you're thinking it.
"Meg, if you love someone you wouldn't have to think too hard about it." -You
I know that. I have emotions too. Sometimes, well, 98% of the time we're all too stupid and ignorant to know what love is or what its supposed to be. No, really. I'm pretty sure that nearly 100% of us are complete and total idiots when it comes to love. Now, the only way we CAN know what love is supposed to be, we need to pause and take a little trip to education land.

"Okay class, who can tell me what a dictionary is?" -Teacher me
"A book of all words and their meanings" -You
"Good job! You receive a brain cell!" Teacher me

Now all books have an author, obviously. So think of the love as a book. There is an author to every book, but the Author of Love cannot be compared to any other author.

If you think about how we're all idiots, you know that all we are capable of is throwing up words and call it poetry. If you and I don't know each other at all and at the end of our very first conversation you said you love me, it would be like you taking my favorite hat off my head, puking in it, and wrapping it in yesterday's news paper that was talking about Miley Cyrus' song about how she smokes too much weed, then giving it to me as a gift, AFTER you stuck it in a bag of dog crap and set it on fire. That, is how we use the word love.

Yet, there is that Author of Love that I was talking about, and like any author He knows His creation better than anyone. He loves His creation more than anyone ever could, can, or will. We could be capable of real love if we read that book, but we're too stupid and lazy to.

Do you get what I'm saying? Do you really? My favorite thing to do is to love. And I'll never be perfect at loving with the love of my Lord, but I can try. If I were to show my full love to my "friends", I'm always afraid that it would freak them out because they don't know how to respond. The Only One who could ever respond with more love and affection then I could ever be capable of.

College

Ah, high school. Biggest 4 years you'd ever experience. I'm only a Sophomore and high school has been crazy so far. Well, that's probably because I experienced part of the drama in eighth grade, but, you get the point.

So after high school, then what? College? Work? Marriage? Pretty much everyone goes to high school, but we all do something different after. I plan on going to Chico State University with my Best friend who is gonna meet me there (because she is a senior). I'm going to major in Animal Behavior and minor in wildlife rehabilitation. So just call me doctor!

Moving away will be weird, but it'll be worth it. My parents decided that they are moving with me. Which is cool because I love them, I don't have to miss them, and I'll always have somewhere to stay.

So if you're going to college, where are you gonna go? What are you going to major in? If you're in high school and don't know, you should figure that out.

K, that's it. Until next time!
-Meg

Me in a nutshell

1. I hate it when people leave cabinet doors/drawers/doors/anything that can be opened, open. A lot.
2. Unless it's art and it's supposed to be that way, anything you hang on the wall or set on the table has to be straight.
3. I don't like shopping carts. They just get in the way.
4. I have to do pretty much everything 5 times.
5. Certain words that people say give me anxiety.
6. I tap a beat to the song stuck in my head when I'm nervous. Also my face and neck get bright red.
7. I can't sleep without knowing what time it is.
8. I make this sound unconsciously after I talk, when I'm into the conversation, that sounds like I'm about to laugh.
9. Going out in the rain makes me feel really happy

10. I love to sleep in summer clothes when it's cold
11. Singing super loud when no one is around....yeah <3

12. The smell of strawberries or a certain perfume makes me feel comfortable
13. Blue eyes are the best thing in the world.
14. I'm very sentimental with people I love.
15. I hate the sound of ripping paper.
16. I love waking up to the sound of laughter. I'm happiest when those around me are too.
17. My brother is my best friend.
18. I like that I know people with verified twitter accounts.
19. I can't go a day without being hugged because than I don't feel loved.
20.When I get into something I REALLY get into it. (Most of the time it only lasts for a day though)
21. I've been through some really crappy things in my life, but my heart is still beating, so I must be alive.
22. I secretly want to learn how to ballroom dance.
23. Sometimes I wonder why God didn't create unicorns.
24. I like the way the word "cup" sounds
25. I hate when people say "adult" wrong like "A-dult"
26. I rather have a headache than a stomachache
27. If I could sing like any well known artist it would be Hayley Williams
28. I get nervous before going somewhere with friends (it's kind of ridiculous.)
29. I have a lot of health problems
30. I don't generally like to eat.
31. I can't stand having loose wet hairs in my fingers.

Waiting for an answer

Hello again.

So, have you ever had one of those moments where somebody comes into your room and asks you something that you aren't sure how to answer at the moment so you shrug and they threaten to annoy you until you answer them? Like for example:

Dad- What do you want for dinner?
Me- I don't know....um...
Dad- Oh come on! I hate that answer..
Me- Sorry let me think about it for a second.
Dad- (puts on my fedora which is WAY too small for his head. Picks up my guitar.) WOAHHHOHOOOOOHHHAHOHOHHHHHOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!OHHHHH OHH OOHH AHHOO WOAHHHHH!!!!!!
Me- Dad...please...
Dad- OOOOHHHHHHH WOAHOHOHHHHHH!!!
Me- Oh.....Oh gosh....Dad please...stop.
Dad- HOOOOOOO WOAHHH!!!!! OH OH OH OH OH!!!!
Me- Dad, you aren't Jason Mraz.......My ears are bleeding...
Dad- AH AH OOHHHH OHHHH WOAHHHHH WAOAHH!!!
Me- This isn't helping me think you know.....
Dad- (stops, puts down hat and guitar.) Just fend for yourself.
Me- .......K (eats leftovers)

Please tell me I'm not the only one. Or another example is when (if you're a parent) your kids come in your room and jump on your bed while you're in it until you give them what they want. It's like, seriously, how am I supposed to give you an answer when you are being obnoxious? I mean, yeah that was a true story up there about me and my dad but I love him and rather him be annoying then not be there at all. So has that ever happened to you?

Lice are not your friends.

Recently I've been working at a summer day camp as a camp counselor. One of these darling little children gave me lice, and I, unknowingly gave it to my mom and my best friend. They got theirs pretty much cleared up but mine keep re-infesting. If you've never had lice, try to never get it. It's one of the most annoying things ever. I can't even explain it. I've had to shampoo with this lice removal shampoo crap that smells like chemicals, soak my bedsheets and clothes in hot soapy water, and get a new pillow twice. ALSO my mom has had to comb out the nits (lice eggs) from my hair about 5 times already. It takes forever and it hurts. I'm currently in the middle of soaking my bed sheets and my dad made me throw out  my brand new pillow. Yes, you guessed it, tonight I'm sleeping with no pillow, no blanket, and no bed sheet. Just a mattress. On top of that, I have to cut my hair to my shoulders, which I'm extremely upset about. I've been growing my hair out for almost a year and it's still not as long as I want it but NOPE that's not gonna happen now, is it? Maybe I'll be able to talk my mom into letting me keep it this long. It's been 3 weeks having these stupid parasites on my head and I'm so DONE. Never get lice, kids. Goodnight.

Friends

Have you ever gotten to the point in your life when you have absolutely no clue who your true friends are? I can honestly say it's been like that for me most of my life. Once you think you have a permanent friend who promises to stick with you through the worst forever, something happens and that friendship slowly unravels. That's why you don't rely on other sinful human beings to support you your whole life. I may be pretty young myself, but I have been through quite a lot. So here's some common problems that happen to friendships. Some are worse than others but these each happen depending on the situation at hand, and how you and your friend handle it.

1. Boys (or girls)
My gosh. If I had a Samoa for every time someone ended a great friendship over a boy, I'd be morbidly obese. There are so many ways that a boy (or girl) could end a friendship. Whether you and your bestie are crushing on the same guy or you're stupid and your friend's boyfriend is cheating on her with you or the other way around. Maybe your best friend is a guy and he has this super crush on you or you on him but you don't know and blah blah blah then someone's heart get's broken. Maybe you started dating your bestie's ex and she felt betrayed (yes, even if they dumped him). Stuff like this happens every day. Sometimes you don't even realize until she starts to get distant.

2. Social networks
So cyberbulling has become a BIG stink over the past few years. Like in that ABC Family movie, Cyberbully,
where the girl is torture by all these kids calling her a slut and saying so many nasty things about and to her and one of her best friends was too shallow to stick up for her and the other one pretended to be some guy who also spread rumors about her because she was jealous of her and her prom date. DUDE. Who does that? That really really REALLY sucks. You know that those people aren't your true friends. Telling lies or secrets about your friend, acquaintance, family member, mortal enemy, or anyone is NOT okay.

3. Religion
Most of my friends are Christian, because I was raised going to church and am a strong believer in Jesus Christ. If you and your friend have different beliefs on religion a most of the time it'll really be hard to cope with. I mean, sometimes those friends are actually closer than the ones that believe in the same thing as you but it depends on how strong you are in your faith. If you aren't willing to defend your faith no matter what, than is anything really worth it?

4. Sarcasm/friendly jokes
Okay, let's be honest. People are sensitive. Sometimes overly sensitive. Even sarcasm like "Wow you're so stupid", followed by laughter on both sides may have deep down hurt them. You know where I'm going with this.

5. Age
People who are younger or older can be friends. Seriously. The older person, of course, grows up faster unless the younger is at the same maturity level, than you kinda grow up together. A lot of the time though, the older person thinks that because they're like, 5 years older means that they probably shouldn't be so close with you, because you're younger, and you don't know anything. It sucks, but it does happen. 

These are just some things that can happen in your relationships with people. But that's if you let them. If you and your friend are true to each other, than you shouldn't have much to worry about. And like I said before, sometimes you grow apart, and you can do that if you trust God with your relationships.

Calm down

So rumor has it that the world is ending tomorrow....THE HECK??? I feel sorry for any of you who actually believe the rapture could be predicted. Some people are partying it up for the "last day on earth" and then tomorrow after they wake up next to some random person and take their aspirin to fight the hangover they're left with, they will be on their knees "praying" to a god they don't know. Is that how you want to present yourself on judgment day? Are you that ignorant? As for the REAL rapture, only the Father knows when. Yes, the One, True, REAL God. No one could possibly predict when the last day of earth is. When that judgment comes, it's not gonna be fun for those pretty little liars or those who on a regular basis clearly blaspheme the Holy Name of God. Maybe you're thinking, "oh I go to church, and I'm a pretty good person, so I must be going to heaven." well, if you truly believe that, you probably won't. The Bible says that no man is good, no not one. But by GRACE you have been SAVED through FAITH, and that not of yourselves, it is the GIFT of GOD. That gift is eternal life, folks. Wanna take apart? I think you should strongly consider it, because we don't know when that day is coming.

True Story

Tonight I'm working on writing about a true story that I am currently living though. It's not my life story but it is a big part of it. I'm sorry if you saw this and were like, "awesome I can't wait to read it!", because I will only be showing it to very few people, such as the ones who know, because it is very personal and does not need to be public. I'm only blogging about this because, well, it's my blog and I really need to rant right now lol. I've never been able to explain how I feel in person because I'm not good at talking, so I write. Life would be easier if it worked like typing. You can type what you're saying and if you make a mistake, you can backspace and its like it never happened. Hand writing is more like talking because if you write something, and try to erase it, part of it will still be there when you try to write over it or you try so hard to erase it, that it just leaves a hole in the paper. Know what I mean?

I can't tell you my story here, but I will say this much;
Some days I feel like screaming, other days I feel like crying, maybe I punch stuff, sometimes I'm optimistic, and anyone can see that I've changed. I know everything happens for a reason because of God's divine providence, so I can't say that I would go back and fix the bad things that happened if I could. Even if I did feel that way and it was possible to go back in time, there was nothing I could do.

Sometimes I feel as though time stops for a few minutes. The times when my heart sinks to the ground, or the times that I can't get out of bed for about thirty minutes because my thoughts already start going a mile a minute. A day doesn't go by without me thinking about the past, and I realize that can be sinful, but it's so hard not to. It's like when you promise a child that in a certain amount of time, you will give them something they've wanted for a long time and they always remember it. Then the day that the promise was made for comes and you can't follow through on it for an understandable reason, and they say that its okay but it still bothers them for a long time and they know that it shouldn't because it wasn't something they could help, but that's the way they feel and can't ignore it.

Today is one of those days where I feel every emotion at once but I've become accustomed to it, in a way that I just don't directly say when I'm hurting. No, I'm not bottling up my feelings, this is why I write, and blog, and well my best friend is always there to listen too. And most of all I have God. I can only pray for healing and comfort because comfort from anything else is only temporary. I learned it the hard way.

Thanks for reading and here's the deal: No questions, comments, or bringing any of this up within ANY circumstance to me or anyone else. I love you all, don't make me change my mind ;)

P.S. I'm fine, I'm just still adapting.

Question of the blog: What do you do when you're hurting? (You can comment with this question lol)

I'm a Paramore fan. It's not an obsession, I'm just naturally insane.

People rant about stuff all the time, right? I think I want to rant about something today. Paramore. I know this might be stupid to most, but bare with me here. SO LET'S KICK THIS PIG.

So last December rumors were going on about Paramore "breaking up". If you're still under that impression, it's not true. Didn't know that yet? WELL WAKE UP! Josh and Zach Farro left the band. It's been said that the original founding members, the Farro brothers, stated that Hayley Williams was "taking over", and that's why they left. True? I don't know, I can't read minds, I don't personally know them. Could be true though. Whatever.
It happens to the best...more often to the worst, but we don't hear about those. Obviously.

Paramore, has some incredible fans. Not that they didn't know that though. Their song from Brand New Eyes, "Where the Lines Overlap", pretty much says so. After the Farro brothers left the band, Paramore's fans were sure to let them know that they were still here. As am I....As am I. (I've always wanted to say that. [I just realized how stupid it sounds]) ANYWAYS. I love Paramore.

Oh and if you wanted to know what happened to Josh and Zach, all I really know is that Josh is in the newly founded band, Novel American with former Cecil Adora members Van Beasly, Ryan Clark and Tyler Ward. I have no idea what Zach is doing, because, well, I'm not a stalker.

Well that was fun. I quite enjoyed pointlessly ranting about my favorite band. I hope that the two of you people that will actually read this will too.

>Random<
A message to all girl scouts: PLEASE GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR SAMOAS. I WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR EVER. (because I'm not a loser.)

Lyrics matter

Love songs are, well, pretty darn cool. Whether it's cheesy/pop/Hannah Montana/I probably didn't really write the lyrics to this song song, or a simple rock ballad, a love song is the most common type of song there is. 

I personally believe that not all of these songs make sense. Okay, half of them don't. It may seem like they do, but when you dissect certain songs and really think hard about all the pieces you have in front of you, you'll come to the thoughts, "What?" and "Wait..." or the ever so popular combination, "Wait...what?". That my friends, is when you have come to the conclusion that lyrics really do matter. Really. They do. No joke. So before you say "OMG JUSTIN BIEBER IS SO FREAKING HOT", I want you to stop and listen to the lyrics. Instead of just listening to a song, try to HEAR it. Catch my drift?

***I don't listen to Justin Bieber, so I wouldn't know whether his lyrics are solid or not, I was just using him as an example. If you listen to him then it's YOUR job to dissect those lyrics! =)

I for one have a large variety of genres I listen to. One of my favorite song writers is Josh Dies. Why? Because he is straight up about how he feels about something, not only that but, he puts those feelings into some pretty insane metaphors. In case you don't know, Josh Dies is the lead singer of the band Showbread. I recommend them for those of you who like raw rock. Another good band with amazing lyrics (who is my second favorite band) is Flyleaf. One of my favorites from them is from their song "Tiny heart".
Lyrics:
"Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself, when will you open up for me? I love you so I want to meet you again before one of us must go. Your lips touched every hand but mine. If you choose me, I'm waiting for you. If you choose me, I'm waiting for you. Always waiting. Tiny heart, you're not by yourself, when will you recognize the beat of my own heart grieving in your hand? You crush me when you run that way. You will never know what you have done to me, you will never know loosing love from me, and you will never know a single day alone."

Awesome, huh? I especially like "when will you recognize the beat of my own heart GRIEVING in your hand". That's one of many many many many MANY great songs out there with heavy lyrics. (I put five "many's" in there because my OCD only allows me to count by fives without it bothering me)

Now you're probably wondering if I'm going to give an example for crappy senseless lyrics. Well, I am. Maybe you weren't wondering that and were actually thinking, "Oh good, she's done ranting!" then were strongly disappointed that you had to continue reading a blog that YOU (just sayin') clicked on but you can't stop reading this because you feel weird leaving something unfinished so now you're just kicking yourself for ever looking at my blog in the first place. If your case was the second one then, TOUGH BEANS! Because I'm not done yet. First of all, not all lyrics that don't make complete sense are bad. Like the Beatles song "I Am the Walrus". That's a great song, doesn't make much sense, but it's a classic. Now if we're talking crappy senseless lyrics, then I give you "All Star" by Smash Mouth. I apologize if you like that song, but the lyrics really suck. Proof? Well:

"It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older.
But the meteor men beg to differ. Judging by the hole in the satellite picture"

And here comes the, "Wait...What???" Make sense now? So yeah, all this to say that, lyrics matter, unless you're John Lennon because he is a legend that lives on in our hearts.